January 2011
82 posts
It’s just a change of pace. Something different. A new life that might not be much different than the one I have now. Still I would like to think it’s something I can get used to if I decide its really what I want. Keep going. Rebuild. Evolve.
Evolution
We kiss and I don’t smile. You place your hands on my face and I cannot look at you. You tell me you think every part of me is beautiful. You say I matter to you and something in the pit of my stomach twists and it brings tears to my eyes…I want to cry because part of me might believe you’re not lying.
But it’s all irrelevant even if you are trying to be honest. Because...
One of These Days
I wont think about it all the time. I wont miss the person I thought you were. I wont crave the comfort of the time we spent together when I had a place in your life. I wont go betweenloving and hating you the strange way I do. I wont want you to protect me from myself and all the other people I try to be close to. I wont reach out to you. I wont think you’re extraordinary. I wont forgive...
Fever Dreams and Make Believe Monsters
I had forgoten how sharp these hands were, blondie. Only you can bring out such ugliness in me. (To The King of all Grown Ups- you are the embodiment of all my missing pieces.)
Smoke on the Ceiling
My world has become lugubrious. I wake up and go to work. Stifled by an empty house, I slip on my headphones and get lost in sound that has become monotonous. My muscles remember a routine I’ve grown to loath. I finish my housekeeping masterpiece. I go home for a moment. I get back up and waste the night away doing that same thing on an industrial scale. Cleaning until my bones ache just...
